I often hear people refer to others as sorted. Well, not going to lie, everytime I meet a new person with a great job or relationships, my brain automatically assumes that they are in the happiest phase of life and that they got nothing to worry about. It is really interesting as well as complex to understand the phenomena of being “Sorted” since the word applies absolute control that none of us have. It is subjective and cannot hold one single meaning for all. To some it might be almighty dollar for sortedness and for some it might be when someone holds a soft spot in their heart for them. Some might seek comfort in something totally different!
I believe when we call a person sorted, we base it on our own assumptions and reflections of past experiences. It takes no time for us to label someone sorted just by knowing the upper stories of their life or coming across an instance with them that have shown them to be mature, self controlled and collected. We only glorify the outer version which the person wished to portray out to the world and discount the inner worlds.
Personally it took me a very long way to understand that not everyone is sorted. infact, there could be a huge history of past instances and yet they could just say that they are fine. “There is lot you don’t see” someone had said to me when I’d always remark that they are just doing fantastic in their life (unlike me).
Funny how what we convey to the world is occasionally only a tiny amount of knowledge that other people take in But look, there is indeed a lot of comfort to seek even in the middle of chaos. Nobody knows what they are doing in life. By this, I don’t mean day to day activities but rather to a bigger picture of life that calls for you to declare, "Yep, I know where I am heading with this!" I think we really need to embrace ourselves and just not be hard as we are improvising each day just like others do, maybe in a different context but are surely progressing. Trust me, things would automatically start feeling better.
I still am figuring out answers to many questions but here is something I am gonna leave you with. “We all are just one potential mistake away” a friend had highlighted while talking about unknowability of life.
“It is difficult to move on. It breaks you down in ways you never expected to be broken before. But when this happens, do not fear the rebuilding. Do not lament the pieces of yourself that you have lost, the pieces of yourself that were left over. Instead, splay them across the kitchen floor. Look at each and every one of them. Look at the memories, look at the sacrifices. Look at it all from a place of healing, and choose to create yourself again. Shape your spine, stronger this time. Shape your heart, bigger this time. Shape your eyes, capable of seeing more than you ever imagined. Shape your mouth; give it the capacity to say all of the words you never allowed yourself to say. Begin again.”
— The Strength In Our Scars by Bianca Sparacino
https://a.co/ikzPUrR
I am literally amazed by this book and the author. Sparacino provides the words you require through poetry, prose, and the kind of sympathetic encouragement you would anticipate from someone who fully understands what you are going through. In "The Strength In Our Scars," the painful but familiar experiences of moving on, loving oneself, and ultimately discovering healing are explored.
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